• About
  • In the Media
  • Publications
  • Radio
  • Speaking

dinabrawer

~ from Rebbetzen to Maharat

dinabrawer

Tag Archives: family

In Search of Seders Past

05 Sunday Apr 2020

Posted by dinabrawer in Jewish Festival

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

faith, family, memory, Passover, religion, stories

Mah Nishtanah? Why is this night different…?

This year, this question doesn’t feel staged. It rings true and urgent.

This year, despite the variations in Passover customs across families, we are united in experiencing the seder through social isolation. 

Our reference points for what a seder is, are shaped by our memories of seders past, which dictate what a real seder feels like. 

So yes, this year it will be very different. 

But will it even be a real seder? 

Can we imagine a seder that feels authentic, without our extended family, friends or guests ? 

But is there such a thing as the authentic seder, the real thing?

The mishnah (Pesachim 10:5) sums up the goal of the seder as:

In every generation a person is obliged to regard themselves as though they personally have been redeemed from Egypt.

The seder is a process of reenactment of the original story, largely focused on the haggadah, the moment in which we recall and retell our most important story. 

But the haggadah isn’t just the retelling of our people’s journey from slavery to freedom, it is also an exercise in telling the stories of seders past. 

We’re invited to do so by the haggadah itself, as it opens by narrating: 

‘We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt, and the Lord our God brought us out’, but rather than continuing that story, it detours to reminisce of another seder: 

‘R’ Eliezer, R’ Yehoshua, R’ Elazar ben Azaria, R’ Akiva, and R’ Tarfon were reclining in Bnei Brak…’

IMG_4617

A story within a story: In this 1929 Vienna Haggadah, the artist recreates the Seder in Bnei Brak by imagining a gathering the five most prominent rabbis of that time: R’ Yosef Karo (Beit Yosef), R’ Jacob ben Asher (Ba’al haTurim), R’ Shlomo Yitzhaki (Rashi), and R’ Issac Elfasi (Rif).

The haggadah continues to weave stories and memories of other rabbis performing their seders; R’ Yehudah abbreviating the ten plagues into three sets of acronyms, R’ Gamliel capturing the essence of the seder by pointing to three symbolic foods.  

And so, as we  immerse ourselves in the haggadah’s narrative, we don’t find a linear, original story, but stories embedded with stories. 

What the haggadah is doing is akin to frame story, a literary technique that enables us to access and connect to the main narrative through multiple side stories, or stories within stories, like a Russian doll.

The truth is that memories are themselves built in the process of retrieval. And while we may set out to retrieve the original exodus story, we can only achieve this by recalling our own stories and in so doing creating memories.

And so when we contemplate this year’s seder, rather than obsessing about how different and strange it feels compared to seders past, we can celebrate it in the knowledge that we are weaving another seder story into the rich stream of Jewish memory. 

This year’s seder is certainly unprecedented, but in years to come, the memory of it, with its particular references, questions and symbols, will become an important chapter of the continually unfolding haggadah story. 

Let’s write this chapter with all the joy and creativity we can summon.

Future generations will retell it with reverence.

 

Copenhagen windows and drawing the Hanukkah lights into the year

10 Monday Dec 2018

Posted by dinabrawer in Jewish Festival

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Copenhagen, family, Hanukkah, hygge, lights, religion

Walking around a residential neighborhood on a winter’s night can be lonely experience. The streets are dark and desolate. Passers-by become anonymous and the sound of their footsteps intimidating. I usually walk at a fast pace, every fiber of my being intent on escaping the gloom.

On a recent visit to Copenhagen, I found myself cutting through a residential neighborhood, on foot, at night, on my way to the buzzier Nyhavn district. As I was walking, I noticed my pace was unusually relaxed. I felt a sense of warmth and coziness, which the locals call hygge. From every house and building on the street, large windows cast a golden glow. I was out on a dark street, but my gaze was drawn into luminous homes, where I could see individuals at work, children at play and families gathering to eat.

I found the windows of Copenhagen unusual, because as a Londoner, I am used to seeing homes with all curtains drawn, barely a blade of light escaping from the edge of a blind. Keeping their windows unscreened, the Danes projected a friendly warmth into the street, uncloaking the heavy darkness, and offsetting the loneliness of my journey.

Copenhagen windows

Hanukkah is a time for pulling back the curtains and setting lights at the window specifically dedicated to illuminating the outside. Now, in the final hours of Hanukkah, having watched all eight flames burn brightly at my window, I am considering how the Hanukkah lights can continue to transform the blackness outside, beyond the eight day. When stepping into the warmth and light of our own homes, we can quickly forget about the darkness and loneliness experienced by many. We draw the curtains and keep it out of sight, out of mind.

But what if, at the end of Hanukkah we hold off on drawing back the curtains?

Let our home shed light and warmth and transform the gloominess of our streets. Enjoying the coziness of our home, let’s keep a window clear and unshuttered, as a reminder to look out for those experiencing loneliness and isolation through transition, anxiety and uncertainty. The talmudic formulation of the mitzvah of Hanukkah as נר איש וביתו  ‘a candle for each person and their home’ (Shabbat 21b) suggests the home as a particular anchor for our capacity to brighten the outside and light up the lives of others. So, as Hanukkah draws to a close, let’s take inspiration from the windows of Copenhagen. Let’s radiate light through our homes, practicing our own form of hygge, spreading  warmth, comfort, and encouragement.

Copenhagen

 

Hanukkah and Self-Transcendence

08 Tuesday Dec 2015

Posted by dinabrawer in Jewish Festival

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

family, friendship, Maslow, Orthodox Judaism, Sefat Emet, Torah

The Rabbis taught: The law of Hanukkah demands that every man should light one lamp for himself and his household’. (TB Shabbat 21b)

The formulation of Hanukkah lights as a household mitzvah is unique and intriguing.

What is it about Hanukkah that demands a household effort?

20141223_183934I have been mulling over this for the last week while preparing various Hanukkah shiurim.

Unlike other festivals that begin at sunset, we are required to wait until it is fully dark to light the menorah and place it near the window, so it can be seen by people passing by. The oil with which we light the menorah represents comfort and luxury, it symbolizes affluence and satisfaction.

The act of burning the menorah oil to illuminate the outside is symbolic of a deeper spiritual act we must perform on Hanukkah – taking a luxury, and sacrificing it in order to illuminate the darkness outside our home, to brighten the night for strangers passing by.

The Sefat Emet (Rebbe Yehudah Aryeh Leib Alter of Ger,1847-1905) suggests the reason this particular mitzvah is a household requirement is because spiritual illumination can be best accomplished by pooling together a household’s energy. This need for family security in order to fully realize the mitzvah can be understood best through the framework of Maslow’s Pyramid.

MaslowrThe American Psychologist Abraham Maslow (1908-1970) posited a five level hierarchy of human needs. The bottom two levels of  the Pyramid consist of most basic human needs such as food, shelter, health and security. The upper two levels consist of such elevated needs as self-esteem and self actualization. The middle level, which is the access point to the higher two, consists of love and belonging; needs that are best met in the context of family and close friendships. In other words, being secure in one’s own loving relationships is the foundation upon which the individual can come to the more elevated levels of altruism; extending love and compassion to strangers.

If kindling the Hanukkah lights at night represents our responsibility to illuminate the darkness and alleviate the loneliness of those in need, then this can be achieved best when we feel secure within our own relationships. This may be why this particular mitzvah is singled out in its requirement that it be performed in the framework of a household.

This Hanukkah, may we all find within the blessing of friendship and belonging the resources to self transcend by alleviating the loneliness, alienation and fragility experienced by those who occupy the darkening street.

Subscribe

  • Entries (RSS)
  • Comments (RSS)

Archives

  • April 2021
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • October 2019
  • August 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • December 2016
  • October 2016
  • April 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014

Categories

  • Important Moments
  • Jewish Festival
  • Media
  • Uncategorized

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • dinabrawer
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • dinabrawer
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...